Meet the Hulks
by Mr. Chaos
Summary: Sequel to Behind Every Man. Betty, now also a Hulk, hides with Bruce, trying to control their powers. Meanwhile, Tony Stark gathers a team, Pepper works on her own suit...and is that another hero's girlfriend getting powers? Rating may change
1. Domesticated

Last Time: (Spoilers for "Behind Every Man") Betty Ross, seeing Bruce/Hulk losing his battle with Abomination, injects herself with a concentrated dose of Bruce's blood. Emerging from the helicopter wreck, Betty became enraged at Abomination's gloating and transforms into a 9 foot tall female Hulk (no, she isn't She-Hulk, Betty-Hulk makes She-Hulk look like puny Jen on her worse day). The Hulks team up, brutally killing Abomination before escaping the city. A month later, Bruce and Betty live together, working to gain control of their powers.

General Ross is approached by Tony Stark, who is forming a team…neither men realizing that Pepper Pots, Tony's assistant, feeling he needs a superhero he can trust, has decided to create her own 'pet project'.

* * *

General Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross sighed as he entered his Virginia home, the sun setting off in the west making it clear that he had only a few hours to relax before he would find himself back on the hunt.

It had been nearly a month and a half since he had last seen his daughter, though the memory still haunted him. Watching his little girl mutate into a monsterous, green skinned monster was something Ross would take to his grave. Oh sure, he had considered the possibilities…just never his daughter being the one…

"Hello General." A deep voice called out. "Tough day?"

Ross's hat fell to the ground, his face going slack as he stared at the Hulk.

Only…not the Hulk he was use to.

This Hulk, yes, was 9 feet tall, skin a dark green, and built like a linebacker. But he was wearing a dress shirt, black slacks and dress shoes, a newspaper in hand. He barely glanced up as he carefully turned the page, chuckling.

"Oh, those Zebba Zebba Eatas…will you never stop trying to eat your neighbor?" The Hulk question with a chuckle.

General Ross reached for his gun, only to find it not there.

"What…what are you doing here…?" He managed to get out.

The Hulk frowned. "Don't you remember? It's our night to bring dinner?" The green giant picked up the sports section and sighed. "I swear, next year I refuse to root for the Mets."

"I…I don't understand…"

"Daddy!" Another, not quite as deep but still startling low, voice called out. General Ross took a step back as Betty emerged from the kitchen, ducking her head so she could fit through the doorway. Her emerald muscles seemed to dance and twitch as she walked towards him, lifting him like he was a toddler and giving him a bearhug. "How are you?"

"Uh…uh…" Ross mumbled.

The Betty-Hulk grinned, setting him down and letting Ross take a look at her. Her long black hair was done up in a beehive style do, a string of pearls around her thick neck. She was wearing a 50's style blue dress and an apron that barely covered her broad chest, looking very much like the mom on "Leave It To Beaver"…if said mom had 40 inch biceps.

"I have the pasta cooking, and I made a lovely pie for dessert…" The Betty-Hulk said happily, her joyful tones sounding wrong coming from her massive form. "You must tell us everything that has been happening…"

Before Ross could question what the hell was going on, a noise that sounded something like a gorillia's roar echoed through the house.

"Dear, it seems Thaddeus Jr. is up." The Hulk said.

Betty-Hulk nodded, rushing to the stairs, the house shaking with her footfalls as she hurried up. Ross could only stand there and make fish impressions, The Hulk folding the newspaper up neatly.

"Look who wants to see his grandpa!" Betty-Hulk called out, coming down stairs with a buddle in her arms the size of a mini fridge. General Ross' eyes nearly popped out of his head as he stared at the massive green skinned baby that cooed and shook his rattle.

"What's the matter, General?" Ross turned to find Tony Stark standing next to him, grinning ear to ear. "Never seen a green baby before." He wiggled his fingers. "Coochie coochie goo!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

"General? General Ross!?!"

General Ross sat up, panting heavily, breaking out in a cold sweat. He looked around, finding himself in his office, a whiskey bottle on the table and one of his soldiers shaking him.

"Are…are you ok, sir?"

Ross shook his head. "no…I'm not ok. Have you found them?"

The soldier shook his head. "No sir, we haven't found the Hulks."

"Keep looking…" Ross said, before mumbling, "Before I have to find XL baby booties."

* * *

Next Time: A look into the daily life of Bruce and Betty, while Mr. Chaos avoids the fans of "G/X-Hunters" who are mad he won't update.


	2. The Following Takes Place

(6:00 am)

There was many things Betty had found herself getting use to, now that she, for the first time in her life, found herself living outside the city or military barracks. The changes in noise was one thing. Where once the sound of people walking past her building, car horns, garbage trucks and police sirens had lulled her to sleep, now she found her mornings started by the twittering of birds.

Of course, there was a good reason the birds were so loud this morning.

"mmm…" Bruce murmured, pulling Betty closer to him. "Betty…you awake?"

"Yeah."

"Are we outside?"

"Yes Bruce." Betty said softly.

Bruce nodded. "Trees knocked down."

Betty nodded, looking at the freshly made clearing.

"Are we naked?"

"Pretty much, yes." Betty stated.

"Are our clothing in shreds?"

Betty glanced up. "Other than a pair of very stretched panties hanging from a tree branch two pairs of baggy pants, yes."

Bruce nodded, his eyes still closed. "So…wild night?"

"One of these times I'd like to be fully around for it." Betty commented. "Seems like fun."

Bruce smiled softly. "From what I remember, you are never fully aware whenever we…"

Betty playfully slapped him away before standing up, showing little modesty as she made her way over to their pants, tossing Bruce his jeans before marching back towards their cabin. "Come on…lets make breakfast."

Bruce nodded, pulling himself from the Betty-Hulk shaped crater they had been sleeping in and following the love of his life back to their cabin. "At least we made it outside this time."

^&^&^&^

(8:00 am)

Bruce and Betty quietly ate their cereal, neither really in the mode for talking. It had nothing to do with hurt feelings or heavy thoughts…it was merely them enjoying the silence of the morning and the quiet company they shared.

Once the two of them had awoken that first night, they had discussed long and hard Betty's actions. Bruce at first could not believe Betty would have done something like that, while she was upset that he didn't appreciate the fact that they could be together now. It was only the fact that their heartrates had reached dangerous levels that they had actually stopped fighting.

The rest of the month had been spent getting their new lives started. Bruce had begun working with Betty to master her anger and emotions, lest she slip up and transform in an awkward place. Bruce had given up for the moment trying to cure himself, as he knew that while it had been hard trying to fix his own cells, trying to fix Betty's as well so that they both could be normal would be impossible, and he refused to abandon her. If there had to be someone to be cursed with these powers…he was glad it was Betty.

And she had proven to be capable. He had feared she wouldn't be able to handle the life they needed to lead, but she had shown herself stronger than he had expected. Never once had she complained about the fake of normal things like cable or internet or going out to fancy restaurants…Bruce theorized in part it had to do with Betty finally understanding what it was like to be him.

It was one thing to explain what it was like when he transformed…but for Betty to experience it herself…

The two of them had managed to land the perfect job, managing some old camp grounds in the Canadian forest. The owner didn't want to take the time to fix it up, but he also didn't want it abandoned. As long as it existed, he got some sort of check from the government, which made him happy. And considering Bruce and Betty were willing to work for less than an average caretaker made their employer more than happy to provide them with the little cabin they called home.

And thus, their strange little life began, a routine falling into place.

^&^&^&^

(11:30 am)

"Anyone come in?"

Bruce didn't look up from the newspaper, stilling puzzling over 7 across, pressing the phone to his ear. "No sir."

It was always no sir. There had never been a single camper to actually come to the grounds the entire time Bruce worked there. Infact, he was beginning to wonder if anyone came at all.

"All work and no play make Jack a dull…" Bruce muttered.

"What was that?" His boss asked over the phone.

"Number 7 across."

"boy." The boss said.

"Thanks." Bruce commented. "Say time tomorrow?"

CLICK

"I'll take that as a yes." Bruce quipped to himself, turning back to his puzzle.

^&^&^&^

(3:15 pm)

"Back again?" The sales clerk at the Goodwill store asked Betty. The pale skinned, dark haired woman merely smiled. With all the training Bruce and her did in trying to control their other selves, it had become a daily ritual for her to head into the small town 30 minutes away from the campground and shop around for new supplies and clothing.

Of course, Betty didn't mind that much. Even if she didn't buy anything, the mere fact that she got out amongst other people helped her brain stay sharp.

At first, when they had arrived in Canada, Betty had wanted to stay hidden until she had control. Oh, she wasn't ashamed like Bruce of her transformation…unlike him, she had chosen this path…and she at time found herself enjoying the power it brought. The problem was, while Betty had no problem with being able to become a dark green amazon giantess, she knew the rest of the world would not be happy with it. As such, she had developed a fear of being out somewhere, be it getting takeout at McDonalds or simply sitting in a park and suddenly having her heart race. She remembered well Bruce's fear of such an event during their time in New York…as well as her temper tantrum at the cabbie.

It had been Bruce that had forced her to go out and interact. He had explained that it had only been his interaction with ordinary people, he would have gone mad years ago…and that this would have only resulted in a much worse fate.

And thus, these minor shopping trips, easing her way back into society baby steps at a time.

Today, however, she was on a mission. Thanks to her and Bruce's…other halves…she was in need of some essentials.

"I know ya have a figure…" The clerk said as Betty held up a bra. "But ain't that a tad…big for you?"

Betty had to agree. The stretchy sports bra seemed better designed for a porn star than her.

"Buying for a friend." Betty said, giving the clerk a secretive smile. "She's a big gal."

^&^&^&^

(8:22 pm)

"Now focus on my voice…" Bruce said calmly, watching as Betty breathed in deeply, eyes closed. She was dressed in a pair of baggy sweats and the ill fitting sports bra she had bought earlier that day.

The final part of Betty and Bruce's day was this, their training. The battle with the Abomination had shown to them that the power of the Hulk could be directed towards a greater foe. And the time in the cave, after that first time Betty had seen Bruce in his Hulk form, had led her to believe that their memories remained even in their altered state…the fact that the Hulk had known her to be Betty, had protected her…

And thus, they were now seeking to control the beasts that lay within them.

They were starting with baby steps. The first goal was to be able to transform at will, to call upon the power. Next, to get their Hulk sides to recognize their partner. The next had been to keep each other calm, so that they didn't destroy everything around them. It had taken awhile, trial and error, but both agreed that they had finally reached that point. Now came the final step before they could begin work on keeping their minds intact during the transformation: Convincing each other to turn back.

"When you're ready…" Bruce said softly, the wind whistling softly through the leaves overhead. They performed their exercises outside, away from their cabin should a problem arise.

Betty nodded, slowly focusing on pulling up the gamma energy that now coursed through her body. What Bruce had said about the transformation being like having acid poured right into yoru brain was pretty close to being true. When she reached the point of adrenaline needed, Betty's eyes snapped open, her brain going on overload. She could feel her bones popping and expanding, her muscle mass increasing rapidly as her organs began to inflate. Strength poured into her, making her bare her teeth as her flesh turned a dark green. Hair lengthened, hands and feet grew meatier, her breasts filling the bra she'd gotten and then growing past its confines. Her thoughts were becoming clouded, her focus becoming lost in the hazy that was building around her. Betty's voice deepened as she moaned, veins flooding with radiated blood as her face grew rounder, more thuggish yet still holding a bit of her beauty. Her shoulders spread wide, her body widening and form taking on the look of a bodybuilder in peak form. She let out a growl as she finished her transformation, opening green eyes to stare out at the world.

"Shhh…its ok…" Bruce whispered. No matter how many times he saw this, he would never get use to seeing the woman he loved transform into a 9 foot tall muscle bound giantess. "Its me…you remember me, right?"

The Betty-Hulk tilted her head, looking at him carefully.

"Bruce." She said, her deep voice holding only hints of the Betty she had been.

"That's right." Bruce said with a smile. "Remember Betty…we're doing one of our tests?"

The Betty-Hulk blinked. "Little."

Bruce sighed with relief. "That's right, we are seeing if we can make you become little again."

The green giantess shook her enormous head. "No…Bruce little."

Bruce Banner nodded slowly. "Uh…that's right. And we want to see if you can make yourself little too. So, why don't you focus on calming down…"

"Betty…no like…little Bruce." Bruce was surprised by the comment, considering that was the most either of their transformed selves had ever said. Oh, he didn't doubt they could speak…they just preferred actions to words. "My Bruce…"

Bruce nodded as Betty-Hulk stood up, towering over him. Her sweats wear shredded and barely hanging out, while the large sports bra Betty had bought was barely a rag now. "Right, I'm your Bruce…"

Betty-Hulk growled, grabbing him with ease and lifting him to her face.

"Uh…calm down Betty…remember the experiment…" Bruce said nervously. He didn't believe Betty would hurt him, but that didn't mean he wasn't frightened.

The gamma giantess paused, large fingers still wrapped around his body. "Want my Bruce." She snapped, her tone frustrated. She lowered him, only to throw Bruce high into the air.

"WHOOOOOOOAAAA!" Bruce cried out, only to be caught by his large girlfriend. "This…this isn't helping our experiment."

The Betty-Hulk tilted her head, placing her meaty ring finger on Bruce's chest. "No Little Bruce." She snapped, tossing him again. Bruce's arms pinwheeled as he fell, only to be caught once more. "My Bruce…big Bruce…"

Bruce's eyes widened as he realized what she was doing.

"No Betty…" he stammered as she prepared to throw him again. "Remember, tonight we are trying to get you to transform…" His words were caught off as she threw him higher. "Not me!" Bruce cried out as Betty caught him, only to toss him even higher. "Betty!" He cried out.

The Betty-Hulk roared in frustration, grabbing him and winding up hard, heaving him into the sky.

"BETTTTTTTTTYYYY!!!" Bruce cried out.

The Betty-Hulk watched as Bruce became little more than a speck in the sky, eyes never leaving his form as gravity took hold, yanking him back towards her…

BOOM

The Hulk snarled as he ripped himself from the crater he had formed from his landing, looking for the one that had attacked him. He shook his head in rage, ready to tear apart the person that thought themselves stronger than him…

"Bruce…"

The Hulk snapped his head to the right…only to pause as the Betty-Hulk grabbed her strained bra and gave it a tug, slowly ripping it away, the gamma infused giantess licking her lips.

All anger left the Hulk as the giant smiled…his heart racing for a different reason…

^&^&^&^

(7:30 am)

Betty stared up at the sky. "Failure?"

Bruce nodded. "Maybe if we were so interested in other things…"

^&^&^&^

Next Time: Iron Man goes over the list of potential Avengers, Pepper continous on her secret project, and a certain Canadian mutant takes his students on a camping field trip…and just which camping grounds would they be choosing?


	3. How Pepper Got Her Groove Back

"Ok Fury, I talked to Ross, now can I be done with playing errand boy and get back to the real work?"

Nick Fury shook his head, throwing a folder over to Tony "Iron Man" Stark. "Not quite. We got a lot of names in here, Stark, a lot of people I'd like to see working for me…before they begin working against us."

"You mean working for us."

"No." Nick said, taking out a cigar and lighting it. "I don't."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Fair enough." He began to scroll through the list. "Fantastic Four…I think they already have their own team."

"Can't hurt to ask."

"Yes, it can." Tony muttered. "The Punisher…Nick, I want to ask you something, and please, be honest with me because I feel we have moved beyond shadowy lies in our relationship…are you trying to kill me?"

"no."

"Because you can tell me if you are. I'll understand. I've had plenty of ex-girlfriends try and take me out. Don't remember their names, of course, but still…"

Nick held up a hand. "I really don't care. I picked out these people…"

"And if you want me to keep doing your duty work, you're gonna have to realize that I might not like dealing with a nut enjoys shooting people."

Nick remained silent for a moment, considering what Tony had said. "I could always shoot you in the leg."

Tony frowned. "But they are such nice legs."

Nick didn't smile at the joke. "Ok…here's an easy one…someone with power, but not known for his anger issues…at least, not anymore."

"Spider-Man…" Tony said, looking over the file. "Seriously? That's all he could come up with? Atleast I had my name forced on me…"

^&^&^&^

"Ok Jarvis, lets try this out." Pepper said, stepping into the center of Tony's workshop. Upon her feet, up to her knees, was a pair of the modified Mark II repulsor boots. Holding up her hand, which was also decked out in a piece of the Mark II, Pepper signaled for Dummy to be ready with the fire extinguisher. "I will try this out at 10 percent power."

"Might I suggest a lower setting, madam?" Jarvis chimed in.

Pepper shook her head. "I did the calculations. I think I'll be able to get a foot off the group with 10 percent." She tensed, readying herself. "In 3…2…hey Jarvis, what's that dent there?"

"Oh, that is where Mr. Stark slammed into the wall when he tested his boots…at 3 percent power, if I remember correctly."

"…we start at 1 percent."

^&^&^&^

DING DING

DING DING

Bruce emerged from the small kitchen that served as the breakroom for the workers (or in his case, single worker) at the camp grounds. "Ok Pete, I'm going. Listen, I just put some popcorn in the microwave, you think you can stay a few minutes, share a…" Bruce paused, realizing that the man standing before him wasn't Pete the mailman. "…bowl?"

"Don't know about this Pete guy…" The man said, staring Bruce down with his dark, wild eyes, "but I might be willing to have a kernel or two."

"What…what can I do for you?'

"What do you think?" The man asked. He was dressed in a worn down leather jacket and scruffy jeans…though scruffy would be a good word for everything about him. The man had wild dark hair, a face marred by a heavy 5 o'clock shadow, and a look that made it clear he would enjoy extracting teeth from a man's mouth with his bare hands.

"Of course…how many in your party?" Bruce asked nervously.

"6, countin' myself." The man stated gruffly.

Bruce nodded, passing over the ledger. "Camp spot 12…just sign here." The man nodded, signing quickly. "Uh…only a first name?" The man glared at him. "Of course, that's perfectly fine, Logan."

"Good." Logan said sternly, plopping some cash on the counter. "Keep the change, bub."

^&^&^&^

Pepper wiped her brow with a towel as she removed the repulsor boots, quite pleased with herself that she had managed to fly without slamming into a wall.

"Why couldn't Tony design these to come off easier?!" Pepper complained, tugging on the metal.

"He designed it to come off his foot, Miss Potts." Jarvis stated. "Just because you altered the device to fit you does not mean you altered it to come off correctly."

Pepper grit her teeth, finally giving up and using a crowbar to smash the stupid piece of metal. "Not like I'll be using that one again. Jarvis, show me a mockup."

"Right away, Miss Potts." Jarvis pulled out a 3-d hologram of Pepper's new armor. The suit was designed similar to Tony's, though it was a bit sleeker along the sides and obviously roomier around the bust. The face plate had also been tweaked to give it an ever so slight effeminate appearance. She'd avoided the clichés of giving it heeled boots or metallic hair…no, this was merely a sister version of Tony's Mark III armor. "Have you given a thought to the color? I was thinking something a bit more simple than Mr. Stark's choice…a nice silver and black?"

Pepper shook her head. "No…if I want to help out Tony, I need to think like Tony. Keep the black, but lets put some metallic blue on there, deep color but still attention grabbing."

"Of course madam. While you are thinking like Mr. Stark, should I call the Playboy mansion and arrange for some Bunnies to come by for you to wine and bed?"

"…no Jarvis."

"I noticed you had to think there Miss Potts."

"Leave it alone Jarvis."

"But of course."

^&^&^&^

"Why exactly are we here?" Kitty complained, looking around the campgrounds. "When you said we were taking a field trip, I envisioned Disney World, not…"

"Camp Crystal Lake?" Bobby supplied.

Rogue smacked him. "Stop it, Bobby…you're going to give me nightmares."

"Sorry." Bobby said, a smile still tugging on his lips.

Hank McCoy looked about the camp, nodding his head. "This will be a rather nice spot. It will give us all a chance to reconnect with nature, with the world of our ancestors."

"You know how to ruin a good thing by yakking too much, don't ya blue boy?" Logan commented, one of his claws sliding out as he dug a hole for the tent post.

"I am merely saying Logan that it is good for everyone to tap into the primal side of the world, to let go of technology and civilization and embrace the wild. It reminds us of how good we truly have it back home."

Logan grunted. "I just wanted some peace and quiet for once."

"Well, you'll get it, Mr. Logan." Peter, the boy known as Colossus, stated. "This looks like a very peaceful spot."

BOOM

The group jumped at the ominous crack of lightning.

Storm smiled weakly. "Sorry."

"Seriously though…with everything we've faced so far…I don't think there is anything that could scare us out here." Rogue commented.

^&^&^&^

"Find anything good?" Bruce asked.

Betty shrugged. "Just some movie on Cinnamax."

Bruce raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure that's the best idea?"

Betty gave him a naughty little smile.

^&^&^&^

Next Time: Pepper takes her first flight, Wolverine learns to let not-quite-sleeping Hulks lie, the newest potential Avenger is introduced (and promptly tempts fate with his famous 'luck') and General Ross hires the one man he knows can take down the Hulk: A certain 'merc with a mouth'.


	4. Oh those little yellow boxes

{Well well well, looks like Mr. Chaos decided to finally write another chapter of this. You know, I swear this guy just enjoys torturing his fans

I mean, seriously, just look at G/X-Hunters, or yu-Gi-Oh: Generations. Yeah, I know he claims he's writing Hunters again…but he won't. He'll write a little bit, not get enough reviews, get bored, and go read some Buffy fan fictions.

A normal man shouldn't read that much Buffy fan fics…seriously, if there are any attractive women in their 20s reading this, please ask the guy out. He needs to get out of his apartment. He's an attractive guy, has a good job, yes he likes buying maybe a few too many action figures but that just means he has extra cash to spend on flowers and jewelery…ask his ex girlfriends, he loves giving gifts…

…what's that? What do you mean, what I am I talking about? I'm just doin' my thing, addressing the audience, letting them know what is going on with the world.

Oh…you don't know who I am? Ok then, allow me to introduce myself: My name is Wade Wilson, aka the merc with a mouth, Deadpool. In May, I will be played by the guy from Two Guys, A Girl, and a Pizza Place. You know, the guy everyone thought should be The Flash. Well, guess what? He's me now, suck on it, Wally!

…anyway, last time Mr. Chaos updated (you know, before he continued on Elsewhere…jeez, does that guy have a hard-on for Heroes or what? Jeez, Tim Kring needs to hire his ass so Chaos will shut the hell up about Carter Daniels already. We get it, you wrote a better Season 2 that Heroes, Chaos, now finish your Inuyasha fic!), we were exploring a world where, instead of Bruce Banner being a lonely wuss, Betty Ross injected herself with the Hulk's blood and became Betty-Hulk (not She-Hulk…She-Hulk is Pam Anderson colored green. Betty-Hulk is a monster that will sleep with you then rip your spine out).

Meanwhile, Pepper Potts paused long enough from staring at Tony Stark's ass to build herself a suit.

And if that wasn't strange enough, Mr. Chaos ignored continuality and introduced the X-Men into the mix. But hey, at least he's a good enough writer not to kill Cyclops in the first five minutes.

How do I fit into all this? Find out…on this episode…of Soap.

Cue the theme music}

^&^&^&^

The forest was quiet.

Logan lay on the ground, one hand propped under his head. Storm, Kitty and Rogue were in one tent, the sound of one of them snorting lightly occasionally heard. In another tent, Beast, Bobby and Colossus were resting.

All was calm.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

Or so it seemed.

Logan was on his feet in an instant, claws extended and looking for a fight. The girls scrambled out of their tent, fear in the younger twos eyes as they searched for the danger. The guys struggled to get out of their tent, Beast finally tearing it open to reveal an ice-capped Bobby and metal Colossus in battle stances.

It would have been more threatening if they weren't in their pjs.

"What was that?" Kitty whimpered, hiding behind Storm.

"Sounded like a bear." Colossus whispered.

"More like a T-rex." Bobby muttered.

Beast shook his head. "I am sure it was nothing that we should be…"

The ground shuddered several times, before the roars were heard again.

"…worried about."

Logan grunted. "Sure thing, teach, sure thing." Keeping his claws extended, he began to head into the forest.

"Logan, where are you going?" Storm called out.

"I don't know what that is, but I want to know before it sneaks up on us." He said, moving out of the clearing.

The teens and teachers stared at each other before they followed.

^&^&^&^

Pepper stepped onto the platform, dressed in a black boot suit. She nodded towards one of Jarvis' optics, signaling for the machines to begin. With ease, robot arms extended and began to encase her in the armor of her suit, black and blue pieces fitting snuggly on her body. She kept herself calm, even as the mask was slid over her face leaving her in darkness.

Where Tony's suit was red, hers was black, where it gold hers a metallic blue. It was a sister to the Mark III, with only a roomier bust, slimmer sides and slightly more feminate face the only differences.

"Jarvis, are you there?" Pepper asked as the screens and view optics turned on.

"Of course, Miss Potts. As with Mr. Stark, I am here as you go about your stupidity. By the way, when you die, my I have your apartment?"

"…you're a robot, Jarvis, why would you need an apartment?"

"I live with Mr. Stark."

"I see your point." Pepper said. "Thrusters on." The energy thrusters on her palms and her feet charged up, lifting her off the ground.

"I hope you handle this with dignity and grace, Miss Potts, and not like Mr. Stark."

"Of course, Jarvis." Pepper said, her body slowly moving to horizontal. Thrusters kicked on, sending Pepper rocking out of Tony's home. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Yes…dignified."

^&^&^&^

"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR!"

"We're close." Storm said.

The ground shook, nearly sending them all to the ground.

"What was your first clue?" Logan asked.

Beast frowned as he caught up to Logan. "It is strange…the earthquakes are happening both randomly and in a clear order."

Logan glanced over. "How interesting."

"I thought so too." Beast said, failing to note the sarcasm. "The smaller quakes are rhythmic, like a drum…but the larger ones have no order at all."

"Well, we'll know the answer soon enough." Logan said. Indeed, they could now barely take a step without almost falling. Logan finally made it to some brush, parting it aside. "Lets have a…holy crap."

Storm's eyes widened as she took in the scene, moving to cover the children's eyes, only for them to dodge her attempts and stare, gaping like fish.

Beast nodded. "That would explain a lot.

Rogue stared. "Is…that the Hulk…"

"plowing another Hulk?" Bobby finished.

"A very womanly Hulk." Kitty stated, raising a metal eyebrow. "Their huge."

"The Hulks or the woman's…" Bobby began.

"This is disgusting." Kitty mumbled. "Isn't that right Ms. Monroe?" Kitty paused. "Ms. Monroe?"

Storm tilted her head to the side. "Would you look at the size of his…"

"Storm!" Logan shouted. "Get your mind out of the gutter!"

"Logan?" Beast began, taking a step back. "Perhaps that was in error."

"Oh?" Logan scoffed.

"Yes…considering they've stopped and are now advancing…"

Logan turned around just as the Hulk grabbed him, snorting in rage as he lifted the mutant up. Behind him, the Betty-Hulk nashed her teeth, enraged that her pleasure had been interrupted.

"Listen…" Logan began. "You can't expect to do that in the open and not draw attention." He glanced over the Hulk's shoulder. "And you should take it as a compliment."

The Hulk, realizing what Logan was staring at, brought the mutant close to his face. "Mine!" Hulk roared, throwing Logan into a tree. The two of them turned, glaring at the interlopers, before letting out twin roars.

"I believe it was Cesar who said when faced with a larger threat, it is best too…" Beast jumped out of the way, just missing being crushed under Betty-Hulk's meaty foot. "Run!"

^&^&^&^

New York

Home many heroes.

Though currently, one of the most famous was not swinging across town or saving the innocent from the Green Goblin or Doc Ock.

No, he was with his stunning girlfriend, looking around, of all places, an exhibit on spiders

"So this is it?" Mary Jane said, looking around at the different tanks filled with arachnids.

Peter Parker grinned. "Yup." He pointed to a spot. "Took your picture there, saw Flash kiss you there…" He frowned at that, but shook it off, "and the spider bit me…here." He stood in a spot, holding out his arms. "and thus is born…"

"The human spider?" Mary Jane asked with a smile.

Peter rubbed the back of his head. "I should have never told you about that."

Mary Jane wrapped her arms around his neck. "Now now…I find it cute."

"Do you?" Peter asked.

"Oh yeah…"

"What else do you find cute about me?" Peter asked.

Mary Jane frowned. "oh, just that. Sorry." She pulled him close. "But that's just enough."

"Good." Peter whispered, moving in to kiss his girl…

"Nice pull."

The two of them turned, watching as Tony Stark, one of the most famous men on the planet, walks towards them, clapping slowly.

"Uh…can we help you?" Mary Jane asked.

Tony stared at Peter. "Seriously, a model? I mean, no offense, but you are no me, not by a long shot, and you managed to pull in her? Wow…just wow. Where can I sign up for that superpower?"

"Super…?" Peter stammered.

Tony nodded. "Yeah, lets just cut to the chase. You're Spider-Man, I'm Iron Man, our names show we both like the assure people we have penises, I need to talk to you in private."

^&^&^&^

"I think that slowed him down!" Bobby shouted, looking at the completely frozen Hulk.

Cracks began to appear along the ice. "Maybe not. Kitty, how are things with Mrs. Hulk?"

Kitty screamed, phasing through a tree Betty-Hulk swung at her. "Not well!"

Logan roared, leaping up and impaling his claws into Betty-Hulk's neck. She roared, struggling to remove the mutant, only for Logan to slash as her back again and again.

"Just give up, lady!" Logan snarled.

The Betty-Hulk shook her large head, before rearing back.

"Aw crap." Logan muttered, right before he hit the ground, smashed under Betty-Hulk's massive form. She ground her back against him for good messure, before lifting herself up. She ran towards The Hulk, punching the ice and freeing her lover. Hulk tilted his head, staring at her wounds.

"Betty…hurt?"

Colossus slowly began to back away, Bobby and Rogue doing the same. "I think we should really consider Mr. McCoy's run option."

The Hulk turned towards the group, in particular Logan, who was being helped up by Beast. He let out a roar, body pulsing with energy.

"Storm…might I suggest we cancel the rest of the camping trip…as a result of rain?" Beast ventured.

Storm nodded. "That would be a good idea." Her eyes went white, calling upon a thunder storm.

"What if that doesn't keep them from following us?" Rogue whispered.

Logan wiped the blood from his mouth. "Then we figure out what will."

Luck, though, seemed to be on the side. Storm sent thunderbolts not at the Hulks, but in front of them, forcing the two green giants to back away any time they made a move towards the mutants. After about five minutes, and after throwing several trees at the lightning but finding teir path blocked, the two Hulks let out one final roar before turning and running the opposite way.

"Where do you think they are going?" Colossus asked.

Logan frowned. "Don't know…but once I can see straight…I'm gonna find out."

^&^&^&^

{So, it seems Mr. Chaos finally decided to get to my part…

What's that? You need me to pay attention to Captain Mustache? What will you do if I don't?}

General Ross paused, looking at Deadpool. "Why are you wearing a dress?"

Deadpool looked down, finding that instead of his normal red and black costume, he was wearing a micro mini dress, red and black still, which went with his mask. He glanced down, noticing that he was missing certain male…

{Ok ok! Start the damn scene over again! God, you are twisted…I can respect that.}

General Thunderbolt Ross paced up and down the empty war room, looking at Deadpool in disgust. The last thing he wanted was to turn to this mercenary, but considering how things were turning out…

"Your targets are rather famous. Doctor Bruce Banner, now known as the Hulk…" he brought up a picture of Bruce and the Hulk on a computer. "And…his companion, Betty Ross…" Another two pictures, of Betty and the Betty-Hulk, appeared.

"Wow." Deadpool said. "Would you look at those breasts?"

Unfortunately, the only pictures they had of Betty-Hulk had her almost naked.

"that's my daughter."

"Then congrats are in order." Deadpool stated. "I'm in…don't care about the money. I will help you with yoru sexy fight."

{Ok, you stole that from the new Blue Beetle Series.

…alright, alright, I won't bring it up, just don't put the dress on me again.

Seriously though, I really don't care what Captain Mustache is saying. Why are we even having the scene? I don't need an introduction. Maybe you should grow some balls and write the Hulk/Betty-Hulk sex scene everyone wants instead of this crap! I mean, come on, the people want to see Hulk and Betty doing the beast with two grene backs, not listen to Thunderbolt drone on and on! Screw and their refusal to let sex scenes…doesn't stop other fics! I mean, come on, you are the guy that had Tea sleep with Geno Roads!}

Thunderbolt paused. "Deadpool…the real reason I invited you here is…I am madly in love with you." He ripped open his shirt. "Now…lets make sweat monkey butt love!"

Deadpool shrugged. "Why not…"

{UNCLE UNCLE!}

Deadpool blinked, awakening from his daydream. "Sorry, I missed that last part."

General Ross glowered. "This is off the books. If you are exposed, I will deny everything. If the government captures you, I kill you myself. You can do whatever you want to the Hulk, I just want the body. But if you hurt my daughter…"

Deadpool held up a hand. "Listen…I already agreed to the deal. You are paying me enough, and I get to tangle with the Nudey Green Giantess. Sounds like a blast and half."

General Ross nodded. "Dismissed."

{There, happy? Now you better post more often, Chaos, or I will find a way into the real world and kick your sorry ass…wait, no, don't switch to the next scene, I'm not done talking to you ye-}

^&^&^&^

Peter stared at Tony, taking in everything he had said.

About SHIELD, The Avengers, about teaming up…

"Am I being Punk'd?"

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Do I look like Aston Kutchar? You know what, don't answer that, I really don't want to know."

Peter shook his head. "Listen, this sounds all nice and everything…but I'm not exactly someone that works well in groups. In school, I did all the work on group projects."

Tony nodded. "Me too. Mainly because I paid off all the other members to leave me alone. Except the hot ones…I never had to pay them…"

Peter held up a hand. "Mr. Stark…please…I understand what you are saying…but really, I just don't think this is right for me. I have a good life…Spider-Man earned the city's respect once again, I'm dating the woman I love, I'm on my way to a job I'll love…things are perfect." He grinned. "Nothing can get me down."

^&^&^&^

"My Lord." An angel said, fluttering over to the Creator. "I bring news."

"What is it, Scott?"

Scott Summers looked over his notes, his white sunglasses reflecting the light of his Creator back at Him. "Peter Parker just said his life is perfect."

"Excelsior!" The Creator exclaimed. "You know what that means?"

Jean Gray flew over, standing next to Scott. "He is the be punished?"

"But of course, true believers!" The creator exclaimed. "Is Satan available?"

"No, Fox just gave him a new talk show." Scott said.

The Creator nodded. "Then we must do this ourselves…" The Ceator looked an a wristband he wore, the letters WWCD on it. "Yes…what would Chaos do?" He tapped his chin. "I have it! Jean…" He leaned down, whispering to her.

^&^&^&^

"Ow!" Mary Jean exclaimed, shaking her hand.

She looked down, watching as a small red and blue spider crawled away. She looked at the bite on her hand.

"Uh oh." She muttered.

^&^&^&^

Next time: Logan goes to Bruce and Betty to find out about the Hulks, Pepper heads off to find Tony, who happens to be trying to talk to another hero with more mixed results. Mary Jane discovers that there are ways to get muscles other than being a Hulk. Meanwhile, Deadpool said Hulks, while trying to avoid enraging the author of this story. But unknown to all…the heroes aren't the only ones after the Hulks.

And if there is time, the Fonz will jump a shark. Because this story might have already.

{Might?}

SHUT UP DEADPOOL!


End file.
